God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize