She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
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you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Congratulations! We have a period
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