You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
