you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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