u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So many bounce houses so little time
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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