when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
