I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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