hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
