But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
