Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize