i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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