i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Farmville is her only friend.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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