you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
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Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They are going to name an STD after you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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