i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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