Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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