i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
