Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
