I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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