I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
