we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
