I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
