I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
