Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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