'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
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Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
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I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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