Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
