Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
