I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
