her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
