And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we're so committed to being not committed
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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