I looked at my own cervix.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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