let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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