i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
