i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
there's paper in my vomit.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize