Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize