This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
