He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
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He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
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Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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