You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
