We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
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It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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