so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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