I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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