Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
My penis needs a shock collar
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
