I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize