I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
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remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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