Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate