My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.