the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
