hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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