I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
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The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
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I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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