her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
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Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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