is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
