New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
