You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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