Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
