I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
