Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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