In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize