please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
