id be glad to
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He? As in you personified your dick?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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