Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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