Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize